


meat lovers

by pepsipink



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drug Use, Gen, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:13:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5154986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepsipink/pseuds/pepsipink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Big Boss accidentally brings marijuana back to mother base. Kaz & Ocelot decide that they should test it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	meat lovers

**Author's Note:**

> i told myself "you cant write fanfic until you finish the entire mgs franchise" so i did & this is my first mgs fanfic  
> enjoy!  
> also i guess very mild spoilers for tpp (mostly regarding quiet)

“Boss, about that unidentified plant you brought back to mother base.”

Snake stares through a two way mirror, watching as the Diamond Dogs support team takes samples from the newly found resource. He figures they would do what they always did with it; research it, figure out if it would be helpful in anyway – mass reproduce it and make it more readily available to the soldiers on mother base.

“Is it really that mysterious? Ocelot usually knows what it is before I even pick it up…” Boss folds his arms over his chest, looking over at Miller, standing close to his side.

“That’s… not necessarily the issue. I know exactly what it is, I’m just… not quite sure what we should do with it.”

Kaz shifts uncomfortably in his stance, looking down at the floor.

“It has potential to be helpful on the medical platform. It is addictive though, it could cause conflict on mother base if it gets into the wrong hands…” He speaks under his breath. “It’s not harmful… not at all, but I could see one of our more easily influenced staff members going out of their way to get their hands on it… it could turn our soldiers lazy…”

“Kaz, what is it?”

Snake can see Kaz’ eyes widen through his sunglasses, making a facial expression that made him think his question was a stupid one. He licked his lips, focusing harder on the colorful plant that the support team was paying so much attention to.

“C’mon, Boss – we were around in the 60’s… and, a good portion of the 70’s… you really don’t know what that is?”

“Not a clue. Amuse me.”

“Boss, it’s marijuana.”

* * *

 

“You mean to tell me, Big Boss here picked up some random weed on an enemy base?” 

“I mean, it explains why he was able to take that entire base out so easily… they were probably all stoned out of their minds.”

Ocelot holds up the bag of marijuana, bright blue eyes observing it carefully. He opens it, holding it under his nose to get a good whiff. His facial features scrunch up, holding it away quickly as if he were disgusted.

“That’s kush alright. Strong, too. We know if the enemy was lacing it with anything harmful?”

“Well – the reports I received came back negative… it’s… it’s just plain marijuana from what we can tell…” Kaz takes the bag from Ocelot, passing it over to Boss, anticipating the final call to be made by him.

“Kaz says it has healing properties.” He says, “It helps with pain… appetites… it could be useful, here.”

“But – “ Miller cuts him off, “It’s addictive too. The last thing we need on Mother Base is an underground drug scene. Soldiers getting their hands on it when they don’t need it is a very real possibility, and we can’t have them going out into the battle field high out of their minds.”

“And I guess, considering it _is_ enemy weed, it… might be dangerous.”

“Well, I’m gonna be real with you, Big Boss.” Ocelot stands up, approaching the box that was carelessly shoved into a corner in his office. “It’d be a shame if this here marijuana turned out to be poisonous… but it’d also be a waste if we just – tossed it away.”

Both Snake and Miller followed Ocelot’s movements with their eyes. He kneels in front of the box, shoving his fist inside, only to pull out five other bags full of the same substance.

“Seeing as we are the ones in charge, here – we could give it a little test run.” Ocelot flashes a grin. “If it’s poisonous – we’ve got medics, no big deal there. If not? Well, then we have something new to share with our beloved Diamond Dogs.”

Ocelot dumps his fist full of marijuana onto Big Boss’ lap.

“What do you say?”

* * *

 

They were lucky enough to have boxes upon boxes of rolling paper. All of Snake’s cigars were personalized, made with much care by the team he trusted most – it was easy to convince the R&D team to give up just _one_ box of rolling paper. It was for the boss, Ocelot said, they wanted to make him something special before he went away on his next big mission. 

There were a lot of members of Diamond Dogs who did not trust Ocelot one bit, but Big Boss was important to the soldiers, and to Ocelot – they really couldn’t argue their way out of it. They got new shipments every month, so perhaps they’d be out a weeks worth of rolling paper, but Ocelot assured them that Boss would have a weeks worth of something else to smoke.

If it made Big Boss happy, then the team was happy too.

What was the most disturbing, however, was that Kazuhira Miller seemed to know this process frighteningly well.

Even with only one hand to roll with, the first joint was rolled to perfection. It was neat, _thick_ , and ready to be lit at any moment.

The three of them stared down at it, lying still in the middle of Big Boss’ desk in his office. Boss was going to take the first hit, they had all agreed on that. They waited for him to make the first move, yet he seemed so apprehensive.

“That’s a nice lookin’ blunt, Miller.”

Kaz tries to keep a straight face, but is unable to hold back a small smile, proud of his achievement.

“Well – growing up in the 60s and all…”

“Yeah, yeah – you were a damn hippie.”

“Considering we’re running a literal army, here – I can assure you that that isn’t true.” Kaz huffs, “I just… got stressed out a lot. Attending college in America didn’t really help. It was _everywhere_ , yunno?”

Boss holds the blunt up, finally, earning apprehensive stares from his comrades.

“Got a light, Ocelot?” He asks, placing the roll between his lips.

Ocelot doesn’t even hesitate, removing the lighter from his coat pocket and holding it up to the end of the blunt hanging out of Big Boss’ mouth.

“See you on the other side, Boss.”

The joint was lit, Snake taking a long inhale before removing it from his lips, breathing out a thick cloud of smoke. He sits still, feeling his comrades’ eyes practically burning into him.

He decides to take another hit, unsure if just one would be enough to really get the full effect. Kaz said that getting high sometimes took more than one attempt, but of course he didn’t want to hog the blunt all to himself, deciding to hold it out to the experienced Kazuhira next.

“Alright – Kaz, I’m not sure what to expect.”

“W-Well, how do you feel?”

“Exactly the same.”

Kaz furrows his eyebrows together, practically snatching the blunt from Snake’s grip. Ocelot does the honors once more, lighting the blunt once its in between Kaz’ lips.

He inhales deeply, nostrils flaring slightly as he holds back a cough, his lungs not quite used to the foreign substance after so many years.

He removes it from his mouth, eyes watering as he chokes out a bit of smoke. Ocelot takes the joint from him when the opportunity arises, allowing Kaz to cover his mouth using his sleeve, feeling Boss’ bionic arm gently thump against his back.

“S-Stronger than I anticipated…” He manages to speak after catching his breath. “T-They really knew what they were doing back there.”

“Ocelot, you’re the last one.”

“Alright, boss.” Ocelot shrugs his shoulders, lighting the blunt up for himself, holding it delicately with his fingers, taking a drag so eloquently, it makes Kaz think that he’s done this before too.

He breathes out with his nose, allowing the smoke to escape through there, rather than his mouth. He doesn’t struggle at all, and it amazes Kaz. He’s staring in awe, at this point, watching the blunt be passed back around to Big Boss.

“How do you two feel?” He asks, taking a third drag from the roll.

“Lighter…” Kaz mutters, slumping back into his chair as he lets the high take over him.

“Well, I feel mighty fine.” Ocelot crosses his legs, leaning forward on the desk to watch as Boss blows tiny o’s out of his mouth. “It’s a nice feeling.”

“So… I guess this stuff’s safe, then.”

* * *

 

It was unusual to not hear a peep out of the people running Diamond Dogs for over an hour. At first, many of the soldiers figured they were just busy and took it upon themselves to simply do whatever jobs were assigned to them. 

After the third hour, however, many of them began to worry. Where was Commander Miller, overseeing the support team’s duties? Big Boss would usually be running around Mother Base by now, greeting all of the soldiers and challenging them to mock battles.

After the fourth hour, Huey hears about this and decides to check it out.

He doesn’t quite understand how he finds them in the first place he thought of, but they are indeed all in Boss’ office.

“Holy hell… it reeks in here!”

Huey doesn’t even make eye contact with them before he’s practically slammed in the face with the strong stench of marijuana. His eyes water, but he manages to make out Snake, Ocelot and Kaz – sprawled out in different positions on the floor. Ocelot was curled underneath Big Boss’ desk, while Kaz had apparently made some sort of a pillow fort in the corner, staring at the ceiling with a dazed look in his eyes.

Huey’s eyes wander to Snake, sitting cross legged in the middle of the room, shirt tossed somewhere to the side, the marijuana in question is hanging out of his mouth in the form of a joint.

“Are you kidding me?”

“I hate this guy…” Kaz mumbles, sinking deeper into his pillow pile.

“He’s… pretty awful…”

“Excuse me? I’m right here!”

“I know… I just really wish you weren’t…”

Huey turns to Boss, looking for some sort of explanation, for some defense.

“S-Snake! Are you really going to let them talk to me like that?!”

“Huey – is there a phone nearby?”

“This is your office! Of course there’s a phone!” Huey’s face is steaming red now. “You three are a disgrace – what if your men knew that their leaders were all cramped in this room getting high! Would they respect you?”

“Huey, I don’t think they’d really… care…”

“They’re all out looking for you! They already care!”

Ocelot slams his hand on the floor. “Huey, if you don’t get your ass out of here in 5 seconds I’m going to Russian roulette the shit out of you.”

Ocelot reaches for his gun, stuffed in the back of his pants. He fumbles with it slightly before getting a steady aim at Huey’s head. The bespectacled scientist is shaking as he stares into the gun, noticing that Ocelot _isn’t fucking joking_ because his finger is definitely on the trigger.

“I don’t even know how many shots I got – but just because I’m a little bit under the influence doesn’t mean I can’t shoot your dick off.”

“Jesus, Ocelot.” Boss shoves himself off the floor and slumps over to his desk, feeling around the surface for his phone. “Huey – we’re fine. This was important business… marijuana for the soldiers… help recovery… I’m sorry, I’m so high right now… Can you just… go…?”

Huey who has promptly wet himself by now throws his hands up in defeat. He’s out the door by the time Ocelot finishes his gun twirling routine, leaving him somewhat disappointed.

“Why do you need the phone…?”

Snake looks at Kaz, he’s already mid-dial when he realizes he has _no_ idea who he’s calling. He bites his tongue for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly he’s out for.

“You guys are hungry, right?”

“Fuckin’ starving…” Ocelot answers without hesitation.

“I guess… marijuana… it does increase appetite…”

“I’m getting us a pizza…”

“Couldn’t we… just go to the mess hall, then?” Kaz isn’t even sitting up anymore,  opting to sink into his rather uncomfortable pile of couch cushions. “I think our chef would feel insulted if we… ordered out…”

“His pizza is too good… I want something disgusting…” Boss mumbles, looking at the number pad intently. “I’m craving something specific… something I haven’t had since I was in the states…”

“…Domino’s…?”

“Yeah…” Snake is somewhat surprised that Kaz knows exactly what he’s after without even a moment of hesitation. “Actually – yeah… how did…”

“While you were in your coma… I went back to the states for a few months… to check up on the town I lived in when I met my father…” Kaz removes his sunglasses, carelessly tossing them aside. “They built one not too far from his old house… I ordered from there every week.”

“…Do… you remember the number…?”

Kaz recites the number like it’s been programed into him. Snake hardly registers it at first, but he catches on towards the end, dialing the number as it was told to him. He’s amazed at Kazuhira’s memory, and thankful that he had him as his second in command. Without him, the three of them would more than likely starve.

Snake has to go through several operators in order to get him connected to the states, and is told that he will be charged a rather high fee for international calls. He doesn’t care, though – it’d be worth it. Domino’s was waiting for him.

After what seems like an eternity, the receiver picks up, and he hears a young female’s voice on the other end.

“Hello, Domino’s pizza. Is this your first time calling?”

“…Yes…”

“What can we help you with?”

Boss looks over to his comrades, his lips twisting into a smile.

“We’re in. What do you guys want?”

“Hawaiian…” Kaz answers immediately.

Ocelot is hardly conscious, saliva dripping out of his mouth. He tries his best to collect his thoughts and make sure they come out in coherent English so he doesn’t embarrass himself.

“I dunno… Whatever you get, John…” He mumbles, “I was never much for American cuisine…”

“Meat Lovers it is.”

“Pardon…?”

Snake looks at Ocelot, completely serious about his choice in toppings. Ocelot seems disturbed by the name, but doesn’t comment any further. He trusts Big Boss. Big Boss wouldn’t disappoint him. Big Boss loves his meat – that’s all there is to it.

“Okay, so one personal Hawaiian, and one large Meat Lovers.” He repeats over the phone. “Some garlic bread too… haven’t had that in years…”

Kaz groans somewhere in the corner, curling into a ball as he tries to power through the hunger pains.

“Alright, address please?”

Snake freezes. He hadn’t even thought about the delivery process, and how much the fee would be. Does mother base even have an address? He knows their coordinates on the globe, but he has no idea if that would even be good enough. They’d have to chalk up quite a bit of gmp to make this dream happen. Perhaps they could send out one of their pilots to get it. They were only a few hours away by helicopter.

“Kaz… what’s our address?”

“Seychelles…”

“Uh – we’re located in Seychelles.”

“…Excuse me?”

“We’re in the ocean… Seychelles… we’re a huge base in the middle of it – hard to miss.”

“Sir – is this a prank call?”

“No… no, we’re very serious about getting this pizza.”

“This is a Virginia based Domino’s.”

“…We’ve got money to pay for the travel fees.”

“I’m going to hang up now. I’m terribly sorry, but we have other customers trying to get a hold of us…”

Snake grit his teeth, looking back at his friends once he heard the woman on the other end click the phone on the receiver. He places the phone down, spotting the horror on Kaz and Ocelot’s faces.

“They don’t deliver…”

“That’s a fucking lie!” Kaz shouts, trying his best to push himself up. He reaches for his crutch, stumbling forward as he attempts to get to Snake’s side. “They delivered all the goddamn time when I lived there!”

“I… let me rephrase that… they don’t deliver… _here_.”

Kaz stays silent at the news. He stands still, unsure if he should deal with his grief and let the domino’s dream disappear, or if they should come up with some sort of solution.

“I guess we are kind of far…”

“You should’ve just scheduled it for pick up…” Ocelot mutters, peaking his head out from underneath Boss’ desk. “Pequod could’ve been there by tomorrow… we could’ve had our pizza by tomorrow…”

“We need this pizza _now_.” Kaz grits his teeth. He’s hungry, and he’s not going to last much longer. The stench of marijuana still lingers in Boss’ office, and as long as Kaz is stoned, he’s not giving up his domino’s dream.

“Call them again, boss. Don’t make this just a fantasy! Do you want your meat or not?!”

“Kaz, I…”

Just then, there’s a rapid knock at the door. It’s certainly not Huey, as he didn’t respect personal space and would have barged in like before. This knock is nervous and desperate – Snake can immediately tell that something is wrong.

Without really thinking, he shoves Kaz underneath the desk with Ocelot, practically throwing his second in command on top of his old friend.

“Um… shit uh, come in!”

One of their youngest soldiers busts through the door, panting as he tries to find the words to say. His eyes are full of fear, and he luckily doesn’t seem to notice the thick cloud of smoke coming from underneath the boss’ chair.

“Boss, Quiet’s gone.” He swallows thickly, saluting Snake all the while.

“Christ…” Snake pauses. “…that sucks…”

“B-Boss… she took our pilot with her… a-aren’t you going to do anything?”

“Pequod was so good… sad to see him gone…”

The young, clueless soldier stares at Big Boss with a loss for words. His mouth hung agape as he attempted to register the situation at hand.

Quiet took Pequod hostage, far enough to the point where they had simply disappeared off the radar – and all Boss had to say was that he was sad to see him go? Something wasn’t right, and the strong stench that filled the office only confirmed the soldier’s suspicions.

Kaz escapes the prison of underneath Big Boss’ desk, and climbs out. He immediately recognizes the young soldier, Wild Worm, one of the most enthusiastic diamond dogs he had ever gotten the pleasure to work with. 

The soldier notices him on the floor, feeling somewhat relieved. He turns to Miller, unsure of whether or not Big Boss was in the right mind to process the severity of the situation.

“C-Commander Miller! Q-Quiet took one of our men _hostage_ and disappeared with our helicopter! S-Something needs to be done about this!”

“Please… just sssshut the hell up… I’m so goddamn hungry, I can’t think straight.”

“Domino’s doesn’t deliver outside of the states, Miller. We’re fucked.”

“ _Fuck_ you, Ocelot – you’re so damn negative sometimes. You always gotta disagree with whatever I have to say and it’s getting on my fuckin’ _nerves_.”

“Oh, so now this is _my_ fault, huh? You’re the one who tried to get us a delivery from goddamn _Virginia_.”

“It was the only number I knew by heart!”

“We could’a just settled for the chef here!”

“Stop!”

Ocelot and Kaz both turn towards Big Boss, looking like a couple of deer in headlights.

“This… this is because of the marijuana… Quiet wouldn’t have escaped if we weren’t high out of our _minds_.”

“B-Boss, pardon me… b-but… did you… say marijuana…?” The soldier asks, knees visibly shaking. “Have you three been smoking… this entire time…?”

“Get the hell out of my sight.” Boss grits his teeth, “ _Now_. We’ll deal with Quiet’s escape…”

“Snake, I can’t see straight…” Miller’s voice cracks.

Wild Worm decides that sticking around any longer is entirely a bad idea. Big Boss was capable of so much when he was sober, and had _no_ intention of finding out what he could do under the influence. He books it before Kaz breaks down into tears, weeping over his lost dream.

“Miller’s crying, Boss.”

“I can _hear_ that, Adam.” Boss sighs, massaging his temples. “Okay – we gotta get that pizza. Kaz, I’m sorry that you’re disappointed. We’re gonna figure this out, okay?”

“What about Quiet…?” Ocelot crawls out from underneath the desk, finally.

“She’ll be back…”

“And how do you know that?”

“Just… a vibe…”

“…A vibe… Boss?”

“She probably just needed some fresh air… needed a puddle to squirm around in… let her go.”

Snake approaches Kaz on the floor, lifting him up and placing him gently back into his pillow fort. He’s a lot more calm now, and decides to take Boss’ word for it. They _will_ get their pizza.

“I can’t think straight… Adam – one more blunt…”

Ocelot doesn’t question Snake’s demand, and within seconds, Big Boss has another joint hanging from his lips. Out of the three, Boss is still the most composed – Ocelot’s trying his hardest, but the reality he faces is that he keeps resisting the urge to take off all of his clothing and huddle up to Kaz naked. Kaz was a goner from the first puff – and yet he’s supposedly experimented with weed a lot in his youth. Kaz is a mess.

It’s been a number of hours, and all three of them lost track of the time way before they even had a chance to mark it down while they were still sober.

Kaz didn’t remember how long it took for marijuana to wear off, but considering they _kept taking hits_ , he made a good guess that they would probably stay high until morning. They were pretty damn lucky as a group that there wasn’t really anything _important_ going on while they were all completely stoned.

But at this point, even if someone like Skull Face showed up, Boss probably would’ve just offered him a joint and told him to chill out for maybe 5 minutes before they got back to blowing each others brains out.

Okay, so _maybe_ Big Boss was _extremely_ high.

“…Any word on Quiet?” He asks, laying across his desk, having knocked off everything that was on it’s surface by now.

“We haven’t heard anything from anyone in at least two hours…” Kaz mumbles, “Huey must’ve told them that we got a little fucked up…”

“Maybe one of us should take a peek outside… make sure our men aren’t… slaughtering each other…”

Neither Kaz nor Ocelot move and take Boss’ request into consideration, but it’s quiet outside from what they can hear, so it probably can’t be too bad.

All three of them are starving, but too embarrassed to drag their sorry asses into the mess hall for some food. Big Boss would rather starve to death than allow his entire army see him stoned, and it’s not Domino’s so it probably wouldn’t even really feel satisfying in the end.

Getting high was fun, at first, but now they were all just desperate and completely unable to do anything useful with themselves. Right now, the only thing Boss took comfort in was the fact that he at least wouldn’t be waking up with a hangover a few hours down the line.

“Maybe it being quiet out there is… a bad thing…”

Boss looks at Ocelot, dumbfounded.

“Maybe… Domino’s did deliver… and they’re hoggin’ the pizza for themselves…”

“Our soldiers would _never_.” Kaz’ practically spits venom as he replies. “Maybe they’d steal it from you or me… but they respect Big Boss. They wouldn’t steal his pizza.”

He decides he can’t really take it anymore, and stands up. Kaz and Ocelot look at Big Boss as he approaches the door leading out into the corridor, feeling a bit more nervous than they probably should.

“I’m gonna take a look.” He says, stumbling a little in his stance. “I’ll see if they have any news on Quiet too…”

“And poor Pequod…”

Big Boss places his hand on the door handle, twisting it slowly. Just as he gets the door open, a foot literally slams it’s way through the wood, knocking the door down and Big Boss with it, the force enough to send him flying backwards into his desk.

He groans, holding his head in agony as he pushes himself up from the floor – he doesn’t hear much else once he gets himself up and attempts to regain his vision, and it worries him. Kaz and Ocelot are silent, staring at the doorway with their mouths agape. He has no idea why the person who assaulted his lovely door isn’t saying anything, either. Maybe it _is_ Skull Face, ready to take all three of them out at once, but the happy cry that leaves Kazuhira’s mouth makes him think otherwise.

Standing before him is Quiet (and Pequod) who is holding a blue duffel bag. She approaches Big Boss slowly, before dropping the bag on the floor at his feet.

“Boss! She - !”

Printed on the bag is the Domino’s logo, practically glowing in the light shining from the broken door.

“Quiet, you…”

Quiet stands still, though she’s visibly shaking, probably nervous of the consequences that kidnapping Pequod will bring her.

“Boss – I know this looks bad but…!” Pequod stutters, pointing at the Domino’s bag on the floor. “S-She communicated with me that she heard you three were having troubles! She just wanted to help!”

Quiet nods, turning her gaze towards the floor.

“You traveled to America… to bring us Domino’s…?” Big Boss repeats the information out loud. “But… how? In such short time?”

“Boss, it’s been nearly 24 hours since we last heard from you… and… Quiet used some of her powers with the helicopter… so, it didn’t take too long…” Pequod explains, “Nobody suspected a thing! I didn’t even have to land!”

“How did she order our food when she can’t even talk?”

Quiet holds up a pen and paper at Miller’s question. The order is printed in perfect English – and Kaz knows he should be angry about something and maybe interrogate her over the now non-existent language barrier, but he’s too hungry, and too high to really think about it too hard.

“If you ask me, Quiet here’s saved the day.”

Ocelot approaches her, reaching a hand out to pat her gently on the shoulder. He’s smiling, genuinely, and it makes Quiet a bit uncomfortable – but she’d rather not startle three very stoned grown men. For Big Boss, she tells herself.

“Thanks, Quiet. Now I know you don’t eat – but why don’t you join us?”

“You saved the day, Ocelot’s right. You deserve a slice.”

“Boss – w-what about me… she… she held me at _gun point._ ” Pequod frowns, “Do I get anything…?”

“Maybe next time… we don’t have much to share.”

“Next time?!” He looks to Quiet for some defense, but she simply shrugs and joins Kaz on his pile of pillows. ”Unbelievable! Whatever!”

Pushing aside the fact that Snake, Kaz and Ocelot have promptly pissed off nearly the entire Mother Base staff, they’re all completely thrilled that Quiet arrived with their food. It’s what they’ve been craving for practically the entire day. The least they can do to thank her is offer her a slice, even if it wont satisfy her like it will them.

Quiet seems happy anyway, opting to share the Hawaiian pizza with Kaz because something about the term “meat lovers” is a little bit nauseating. She turns down the marijuana when it’s offered to her – she doesn’t exactly have lungs to begin with, anyway. Being in this room that has the thickest cloud of smoke she’s ever seen is a bit suffocating, but she can manage (and probably get high off of the fumes alone) so she knows that sticking around for too long can be a bad idea.

The four of them finally dig in, and Kaz is audibly sobbing now that he’s gotten what he had been wanting for so long. Ocelot and Big Boss eat quietly, bonding over their shared taste in toppings, while Quiet’s just happy to be part of the gang for once.

“Quiet – you’re a life saver… I know I’ve been rude to you since I first laid eyes on you – but maybe you’re not that bad after all…” Kaz flashes a smile, “You’re good to have around…” 

Everything that’s coming out of Kaz’ mouth is certified bullshit, Quiet feels, considering he’s high as a kite, but she’ll take it for now – and she’ll book it as soon as the three of them pass out, because Kaz isn’t going to be this nice when he sobers up.

“Well, Kaz – the weed’s safe.” Big Boss speaks with his mouth full, “Think we should distribute it?”

“No.”

“…Why not…?”

“The kush is too strong… let’s save it for boring days like this

“Miller, are you proposing a weekly get together for the sole purpose of getting high?” Ocelot asks.

“Uh-huh…”

“I dunno… sounds good to me…” Big Boss looks to Ocelot, a weak, blazed smile on his face.

“Yeah, me too, actually.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. huey invented vaping im aware that venom vapes in tpp but huey invented vaping so i pretended it was just a normal cigar  
> 2\. pequod still confuses me a bit bc like is pequod just one dude or is pequod just the codename for every pilot of diamond dogs like i mean pequod can get Completely Destroyed in that helicopter of urs but he always comes back so like i just dont know but for the sake of this fic he's just one guy


End file.
